Light Breaded Mushroom....no more....

Well, I ate at Union Jack's, again. This restaurant is a staple in my dining out habits. Yes, I love this British-themed pub and restaurant and their Fish and Chips. However.....

Today I ordered an appetizer, The Big Shroom,  as my entree. I was thinking, "I'm good despite the light breading on the portabello mushroom. I've never had a problem digesting it before." Normally, I split this yummy starter with a friend and still have enough for leftovers. Then I, normally mind you, have their Fish and Chips.  Well I got bitch slapped by food again for changing my routine. I ate half of The Big Shroom and about 30 minutes to an hour later...I bloated. It was a slow bloat that creeped up on me and I didn't notice it until I talking with a group of friends. In the end, I reached a 5 on the Bloat Meter. Had to loosen the belt a notch but no pain. Some very mild discomfort but no pain at all!

Have you ever tried to carry on in a group conversation while at the same time your mind is telling you, "Don't look at your stomach. Oh my god, it's growing."?  Well it is a feat I've unfortunately mastered. You can't stop socializing just because your stomach is distending into downright deformity sometimes. Besides, who wants to hear about your bloating issues while talking about much more interesting topics? I don't. Maybe you DO care cause you're reading this! Then again, I'm not fooling myself. I know all these words go into the void of cyber space!

Slummin' Let Down

With bated breath and pumping heart my greasy goal for the Super Bowl entertainment was slowed down to a dead end. Yes, my food truck goal was not realized due to the lack of food trucks. The NFL was in control of all things, including my eating choices. I was left with restaurants, fair food and bar food. No funky looking gyros or splatted burritos. I've been in mourning over the whole situation.  I so wanted to use this event as my excuse to eat all kinds of non-healthy food! Alas, I stuck to what agrees with me and enjoyed walking around and all the music. (Umphrey's McGee rocked it!) The Chef's Table at The Huddle was laid out beautifully and I wish I had taken pictures. But it was so crowded pictures weren't even possible. Yes, a let down indeed.

I did learn one thing about food and myself. Although I learned it the hard painful way. Eating 12 perfectly cooked shrimp in a gluten free lobster sauce is NOT a good idea for me. That meal put me at a very painful 11 on the Bloat Meter.  It felt like I blacked out and accidentally ate chicken. Oh what a night of food losses!

Super Bowl Slummin'

Yep. I'm gonna be slummin' it in downtown Indianapolis this weekend! The Super Bowl event has kindly brought many many food trucks to our Circle City. And I'll be walking by all of them! Well, not all but enough. I've never eaten from a food truck except for hot dog carts in NYC. I don't think that counts as an official 'food truck'.  My goal is to eat, more like taste, something from each truck in my path.

Will I bloat? Yes! Will I take digestive enzymes? Yes! Will I avoid the super nasties of foods for me? Yes! I can do this and stay away from chicken, gluten, rice, corn and soy. My worst gut enemies. Will I last all day and into the night? Yes! How? Cause I won't bloat to the point I can't walk or get sick. If I keep the Bloat Meter below a 4 I can have 12 hours of fun, food and music! Enzymes, avoidance, water and coffee will make this possible. (Coffee for the caffeine and it's laxative properties). It's always helpful to know ahead of time you're going to bloat so you can make a battle plan.

Bring it on greasy, slapped around, thrown about food trucks! This foodie food snob is ready!

BD's Mongolian Barbeque

Wow. My recent visit to the BD's on 86th Street was, let's say expansive. No, not expensive, expansive. I'd say I reached about a 7 on the Bloat Meter. All this time I thought it was because I overate when I went there. Not so my friends! This time I only had 2 small dishes and few bites of a mini-desert.

I like this place because I feel I have total control over what I'm eating. I can freely choose foods that I know agree with my body. So why the bloating? It's the SAUCES!!!! Only 2 of sauces were gluten free and only 3 contained no soy. But I thought, "a little sauce isn't going to do me in." I was so terribly wrong. My first dish had ny strip beef, onions, tons of mushrooms, broccoli, garlic and a tiny amount of shredded cheese with the Shiitake Mushroom sauce. Normally I can't digest bagged shredded cheese but in very small amounts I'm okay. It's the cellulose that's added to the bagged cheese to keep it from caking that makes my guts revolt if eaten in large amounts.  So I think I'm doing good at this point.

Time two and I have kielbasa with onions, tons of mushrooms and the Shiitake Mushroom sauce. Still think I'm doing good. Feeling full, my appetite satiated but room for more. I stop anyway and have only a few bites of the Oreos & Cream mini desert. Although tiny and cute as a button it was certainly processed food, that's been frozen, flown, thawed and garnished. Still having only a few bites I felt my body would be fine. A few bites of a desert never hurt me before.

By the time I got back in my car the expansion began. I could feel my stomach growing but luckily I could see my gut growing and growing more than feel it. There have been times when I've bloated so badly I can literally feel my skin stretch. It's not only uncomfortable it's painful. When your skin stretches 3-4 times it's normal size within 1 hour, it really hurts. Your skin hurts more than your guts do. It's a very weird pain and I don't like it!

Back to BD's...it was the gluten laden sauces that did me in. Everything else I ate was what I consider "safe" for me. Will I try BD's again? I'd like to say no but I probably will. Next time I'll go for shrimp & scallops with Lemon sauce and see what happens.

If anyone is reading this, I'd say go there. You have more control over what you're putting in your body than you do at any other restaurant. If being gluten free is your only concern then go! If you can't have a long list of foods and ingredients like me, go with caution.

Breakfast Yummy Recipe

CRACKED EGG BREAKFAST PIES - www.williams-sonoma.com

** Substitue Potato flour to make Gluten Free. **Substitue AGED cheddar cheese to lower dairy content. 

Ingredients:

• 18 bacon slices, cooked until crispy
• 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 Tbs. sugar
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 8 Tbs. (1 stick) cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/4-inch cubes
• 3 Tbs. ice water, plus more as needed
• 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
• 8 eggs
• Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste
• 1 Tbs. finely chopped fresh chives

Directions:

Place 2 bacon slices in a food processor and pulse until coarsely chopped. Add the flour, sugar and salt and pulse until combined, about 5 pulses. Add the butter and process until the mixture resembles coarse meal, about 10 pulses. Add the 3 Tbs. ice water and pulse 2 or 3 times. The dough should hold together when squeezed with your fingers but should not be sticky. If it is crumbly, add more water 1 tsp. at a time, pulsing twice after each addition. Turn the dough out onto a work surface and shape into a disk. Wrap with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 2 hours or up to overnight.

Heat oven to 400 degrees. 

Let the dough stand at room temperature for 5 minutes. On a floured surface, roll out the dough into a round 1/8 inch thick. Using the larger side of the circle cutter, cut out 8 rounds, rerolling the scraps as needed. Flour both sides of the dough rounds and prick the dough with a fork. Transfer to the prepared baking sheet.


Flour the muffin tin wells. Place 1 dough round in each well.  Push the dough down into the wells to form the bottom crust. Bake until the crust is golden brown, about 5 minutes. Remove from oven. Sprinkle 1 Tbs. cheese over each crust and crack 1 egg into each one. Cook until the eggs are set, 8 to 10 minutes. Using a nonstick heatproof spatula or a mini-pie lifter, carefully transfer the pies to a wire rack.

Repeat the process with the remaining dough rounds, cheese and eggs. Season the pies with salt and pepper and garnish with the chives. Serve each pie with 2 bacon slices. Serves 8.

Deadlines vs. Goals

I recently read that most Bloggers have a self-imposed deadline within their Blog. This little snippet of possible truth has thrown me into a whirlwind of concern. How can I create a deadline in regards to restaurant reviews? Make a goal to eat at one new place a week? A bit unreasonable I think! Eat at one new place a month? Even more unreasonable. It's hard to define a realistic deadline when it comes to opinions on food and food experiences.  So I'm setting a GOAL not a deadline. Those are two very different words.  Look them up if you need clarification.

MY GOAL IS to write about my eating experiences whether dining in or out or at a friends' home.  I'm thinking that using a "bloat meter" is something that's relevant to me and maybe to someone else who deals with oddball food issues. Granted, that's assuming there's life in the void of cyberspace. If I'm the only one who gets sucked into this particular void then what a great food diary for myself! Lame, I know.  Especially since I've never been good at keeping a food diary. Every diet I've ever been on has pounded this on me to no avail. Although I did gain weight on Jenny, NutriSystem and Weight Watchers. Who wants to keep track of that? Yes, I'd love to keep a diary of my weight gain. How inspiring! So motivating! Not!!!

My snobbery is intact and I shall not make this a weight loss, or gain, blog.  It's about food, where to eat it, what to eat and how it affects my gut health. That's my non-bloated goal.

In the beginning...there was me and food.

Here I go starting a blog about food and the restaurants around Indy. Keep in my mind this is quite a feat for me, not the writing but the food.  I must avoid chicken, grains, gluten, rice, corn and soy like the plague! The vast majority of processed foods is out too.  Bright side? Is there one? Yes!  I can have some dairy products.  So all culinary delights are not lost.  Even with all these 'restrictions' (which to me are 'freedoms' from sickness), I manage to eat yummy flavorful food while dining out. It can be done and I will prove it. Maybe one day I should add a "Bloat Meter" to each review. For now, let's just see how it goes.